Until a little over a month ago, Doug's Mom Susan has been doing very well. As many of you know, she has ovarian cancer and has been undergoing treatments for a little over 5 years. But about a month ago, things started to come unraveled in all different directions with very weird symptoms, hard to explain reactions, numbers that didn't make any sense....and we find ourselves currently standing in a place that I really wish we were not standing. Susan has been in and out of the hospital several times in the last few weeks and is currently taking the last chemo treatment the doctors have to offer her. The tumor has taken over her liver, and she is in a lot of pain, therefore they have been managing that pain with medication. The pain meds bring their own problems by making her very sleepy and causing her to see things that are not there. It will take time to see if the chemo she is on will work....so we are waiting and praying and hoping...
This whole process is really difficult. We love Susan so much...it is just so hard to watch someone you love going through this. But, watching Susan these last 5 years and being a part of this family as we take this journey together has taught me so much that I do not have room to put here on this blog. More than anything, it has caused me to grow in my trust and dependence on our amazing God who loves us so very much. But knowing He loves us and has a plan still doesn't make this easy....it still hurts and it is still scary at times, and it is still very hard. But we trust...we know that Jesus is the same today as He was 5 years ago....and that truly God is good all the time....so we rest in that.
One of my personal complicating factors has been trying to control my emotions through all this. In my current very pregnant state, I am not the most emotionally stable person to begin with. This entire pregnancy I have been about 10 times more emotional than I was with Danika. So....you take a very emotional pregnant woman who cries at McDonald's commercials...mix in a truly difficult emotional family crisis....and well....I'm not always able to pull myself together so well. That is hard. I wish I was able to be a little more put together to support my husband and family right now...but unfortunately, the "off" button on my emotions is kind of broken. And so we are dealing with that.
Thank you to all who are praying for Susan and our family right now. We appreciate it. We are praying fervently ourselves.
These pictures are of Danika and Susan at the hospital just a few weeks ago. Danika loves her Mimi so much...she is the first person she asks for when we pull her out of her crib in the morning, and she is the person she asks for when we pick her up from daycare in the evening...she always wants to go see Mimi.
Right now, we try to accommodate that request as often as we can...it is good for all of us.
We love you, Mimi. We are continually praying.
ps - I started a Caring Bridge site a few weeks ago to keep people updated on Susan's progress. If you are interested in receiving the link, e-mail me to let me know and I will get it to you.
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